Video Review: Georgia Satellites “Keep Your Hands To Yourself”

Dan Baird plays his guitar in the back of a pick-up truck tearing down a rural road.

Lit in a foggy sunny haze, A young woman puts on her garter, zips up her dress and veil inside the church’s dressing room. She smiles as she looks into the mirror. At the outdoor ceremony, Baird puts the ring on her finger. She turns her cheek away as he leans in to kiss her. She throws her bouquet.

The truck pulls into a backyard, guided by a relative of Baird. Baird’s nephew, riding his bike, waves hello. A dog wags its tail as it tries to keep with the little boy on the bike, its leash coiled around the handlebars.

At a picnic table, his aunt pours some punch in his sister-in-law’s cup. His grandma and grandpa chase a chicken in the backyard. A couple of hours later, his niece carries a tray of fried chicken and places it on a picnic table. The Georgia Satellites perform. Some of their family members dance. His sister, carrying her son, calls out directions.

Two of Baird’s groomsmen pick him up and carry him to his soon-to-be-wife.  His uncle pokes him and he kisses his pregnant wife. They drive off in the pick-up truck. Painted in the bed is “just married.”

Rating: 3/5

Dan Baird waited as his girlfriend took the pregnancy test. He prayed for it to be a scare. She walks out of the bathroom and kisses him, exclaiming, “we’re having a baby!” He plastered a smile on his face and then vomited in the sink.

He had to the proper thing. The next day, he went to the jewelry store and bought a ring. His friends told him he didn’t have to marry her. He responded his mother would be ashamed of him, saying she didn’t raise him to shirk from his responsibilities.

Nine months later, they got married in his parents’ backyard. He played one last time with his band. His uncle told him it was time and they stood him next to his soon-to-be wife. He thinks of the band’s growing momentum and sees his future as musician go away.  The kid will be welcomed into the family but he’ll forever be shackled to a life he didn’t want.

Director: N/A Year: 1986

Georgia Satellites – Keep Your Hands To Yourself Video

Pam Avoledo Administrator

Pam Avoledo’s love of pop culture began in 1999 with the message boards dedicated to shows on the CW (then WB). She graduated from Oakland University in 2006 with a Bachelor’s degree in Journalism.

When she is not debating whether Dawson should’ve ended up with Joey, she looks at cute dog memes on social media.

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