A bee buzzes to a white flowering tree planted outside a home in a suburban neighborhood. Selena Gomez walks barefoot on the street, carrying groceries. Across the street, a sprinkler waters the grass while a car smokes on the curb.
With her hand in front of her eyes, she gazes up at the sun, sweat glistening on her face.
In her kitchen, she bites into a piece of a glass from the broken bowl of strawberries on the stained counter. She takes an apple from a tree.
She sets the dining table with blood red wine and mustard yellow candles. In the middle of the kitchen, she heaves the bags of groceries against the wall. She puts the eyelash curler on her tongue and tightens her stockings until her skin turns blue.
In the kitchen, she turns on the faucet and squirms on the floor. Rain pours into the dining room, drenching her as she sits in the chair. She crawls on the table, blowing out the candles.
After lying on the rug, she looks out the window.
She enters a freezer, stopping at a shelf of full of peaches as Gucci Mane raps somewhere in the restaurant. Sliding down the wall, ice falls onto her as she closes her eyes. A peach slips through her fingers.
Twisting the lipstick around her fingers, she grins as the powder gets caught between her teeth. Wearing gloves, she bites into the soap from the dish.
She draws a heart from the ice on the wall and leans against it, laughing.
Shoulders hunched, Selena Gomez walks home from the grocery store. The ground stings her feet and she realizes she left her house without any shoes. She stares at the sun, remembering her mother telling her it would hurt her eyes. She waits for the blindness to come but it doesn’t.
She squints, her head heavy from lack of sleep and enters the kitchen, hurling the groceries against the wall. He was supposed to repaint the walls and put the house up for sale. He promised her a new home once they became established and gave her a ring. She quit her job plan for the wedding, which was in a few weeks. He told her not to worry. His salary was enough to provide for both of them.
One day, after grocery shopping, she called for him and then discovered his things were gone. Texts to him went unanswered. She banged on his parents’ door, screaming his name. In the lobby of his job, she demanded to see him. The secretary refused her and she stormed through the hallway. Security pulled her away as she shouted at him.
The self-loathing inside her numbs the pain. The clamp from the eyelash curler barely causes her to flinch. The drops of blood assure that parts of her are still alive somewhere. She changed her diet. There is sugar in fruit and she can’t afford to gain any weight. The soap will help her lose some extra pounds. She has to be pretty again. Then, someone will love her.
Director: Petra Collins Year: 2017
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