Video Review: Iggy Azalea & Rita Ora “Black Widow”

A young woman (Rita Ora) and her boyfriend (Michael Madsen) walk into Big Wanda’s Restaurant. He steps on a black widow spider on the floor. The female server (Iggy Azalea) yawns behind the counter and her manager, Wanda tells her to seat them.

The female server hands them their menus and asks if they “would like to hear the specials. ” Her boyfriend says no and says he “wants a bacon sandwich with a lot of cheese.” He points to his girlfriend and tells the female server that “she’s going to have the same damn thing.” She confirms the order and he tells her that he needs it right now. Once the female server leaves, his girlfriend asks him to be quiet.

The female server brings them their sandwiches and he demands for her to get it off the table. He has no interest in eating it. Wanda slides across the counter and gives the female server back the plate, telling her to get another sandwich for him. Wanda offers him the Big Wanda special and his girlfriend responds with “excuse me?” Wanda says she’ll give him all the cheese he wants and his girlfriend turns her head away.

In the kitchen, the female server slices the lettuce with a long knife. It turns into a sword, which the female server, now a ninja in a white leotard with a cut-out in the chest, holds. As the snow falls, the female server and the girlfriend (also wearing a leotard with a cut-out in the chest), stand back-to-back and clap.  The female server walks by herself in the forest and levitates above the trees. She slices the screen with her sword.

She opens her sword and her trainer nods while he sits on the floor. He puts a blindfold on her to test her reflexes and has her mediate on a couch. A second woman cartwheels and throws her a small case. She opens her eyes and reads the message. It states the target is a bar owner, the young woman’s boyfriend.

The young woman knocks on the door and is let inside to room, where an underground poker game is currently being played. She stands up at the table and takes all the chips. Two men (T.I. and Paul Sorvino) side-eye her. The second man (Paul Sorvino) gets up from his chair and accuses her of cheating. She kicks him in the chest and reads a message on her phone. The girlfriend and the female server ride in the city on their motorcycles.

The female server walks between crowd at the man’s bar. The man spots her and puts his hands up. She points his sword at him. His goons aim their swords towards her. He smirks on the couch. His girlfriend cartwheels into the center of the bar and they both fight against his goons. They follow him down an alley. He stands against a fence, pointing his gun at them. A black widow crawls on his hand and he crushes it, killing him instantly,

Back in the kitchen, the female server cuts the lettuce. Big Wanda snaps her fingers, asking her why she’s “killin’ the lettuce.” She grins and continue to cut as her manager leaves.

Rating: 5/5

Wanda took the female server aside in her office and told her to improve her attitude. She didn’t even try to get the man another sandwich. She had to tell her what to do. The female server puts her hands up and said she did the best she could. Wanda put her finger in her face and threatened that she better.

The female server checked the schedule as she clocked out and noticed her hours had been reduced. At home, she watches superhero movies and practices the moves in her apartment. She thinks of signing up for a karate class once she gets more money. She could learn how to cut wood with her hand and channel her frustation into something productive.

The young woman peers from the hallway, watching her boyfriend count his money. She estimates the amount and returns to the bedroom. Ten minutes later, he pads into the room, passing gas as he walks by her. He paws at her and she gives into him. In the morning, she wakes up and does her makeup and tells him she’s going out.

At the mall, she stands by an undercover police officer and reports that he has been laundering money through his underground poker games. She gives them the names of people who have attended. The undercover police officer tells her to have a good day and she continues to sip her coffee in the cafeteria.

On her way home, she hears sirens and sees several police cars in her driveway. She watches from the curb as he is led out in handcuffs. She sits back in her seat and closes her eyes. It’s finally over.

Director: Director X Year: 2014

Pam Avoledo Administrator
Pam Avoledo spends her time binge-watching classic teen dramas and stands firm in her pro-Leyton stance. She also received her journalism degree in 2006 from Oakland University. Her work has been published in the White Wall Review, Sledgehammer Lit , Greatest City Collective & 45 Magazine and forthcoming in Daily Drunk Mag\'s Kristofia anthology.

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