Video Review: Vertical Horizon “You’re A God”

Matt steadies the microphone stand as the band plays on stage.

A young woman (Tiffani Thiessen), wearing a tiara, sits in the dressing room, frowning as she looks in the mirror.

She sits in her room and tells her mother to leave her alone. She looks at the trophies and articles about her pageant wins. Her mother follows behind, holding a dress in a garment bag. She hands the young woman a bag. The young woman clears off the curlers on the vanity and dumps the content of her bag. The young women next to her put on their makeup.

People cheer for the band as they play.

The young woman shoves the brunette out of the way and takes the spot. The host starts the evening gown competition. The judges clap as she walks on stage in a cream-colored gown. During the talent show competition. a second young woman blows the top of plastic gun as she performs as a cowgirl. The young woman fights with another contestant in the dressing room.

Wearing a black one-piece bathing suit, she winks at the judges during the swimsuit competition. In the dressing room, her mother combs her hair. As one of the finalists, she claps as the third and second runner-ups are announced. The host declares her the winner. She accepts the roses and crown. As the confetti falls, she blows a kiss to the audience.

Matt walks through the crowd and views the young woman through the glass. She gets out of her chair and throws her trophy at the mirror. Staring at the broken glass, she takes off her Miss Perfect sash.

Rating: 2/5

The young woman slams on her brakes of her sports car. She yells at her classmate to hurry up. It was a prize from a international teen pageant. Last fall, she won a scholarship. She hasn’t thought where she wants to go. Her mother tells her not to worry and says they are moving to Los Angeles after graduation. Her mother thinks she’s a natural born star and that agents will be in a bidding war to get her.

As she applies her lipstick, she listens as a brunette young woman talks about her early admission into Stanford. The brunette young woman says the scholarship would be great help. She takes compacts of the brunette young woman’s table and calls her a slut. The brunette young woman says her looks fade once the makeup’s off and the dye fades. She shoves her and pulls at her hair.

Holding her trophy from the pageant, she knows the brunette young woman is right. She’s nothing more than her looks. Her grades are dismal. She’s barely passing senior year. Her mother has taken her out of school to meet with agents and some auditions. One agent propositioned her in order to represent her. She turned it down. Her mother called her stupid, saying she doesn’t have the drive. She tunes out her mother’s rant about her father forcing her to settle down in the suburbs. “Your father made me give up my dream and I’m not going to let it happen to you,” her mother has often told her. She isn’t sure what her dream is, though. She likes animals but gags at blood and vital organs. She loves fashion but doesn’t know how to draw. There is nothing for her except to become famous.

Director: The Malloys Year: 2000

Pam Avoledo Administrator
Pam Avoledo spends her time binge-watching classic teen dramas and stands firm in her pro-Leyton stance. She also received her journalism degree in 2006 from Oakland University. Her work has been published in the White Wall Review, Sledgehammer Lit ,Greatest City Collective & 45 Magazine . Fevers of the Mind, and forthcoming in Daily Drunk Mag\'s Kirstofia anthology.

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