Video Review: Lovelytheband “Maybe, I’m Afraid”

Mitchy sings into a microphone in a living room as the band plays. A fortysomething looks at a  framed photo of himself as a teenager, giving the thumbs up.

At 10 years old, he and his father play catch in the driveway. He and his best girl friend walk home from school. They sit in a tree together. He finds a pornographic magazine in the box of the garage and flips through it.

He and his dad continue to play catch while he’s in high school. One of his girl friends runs up and gives him a hug. They play pool and she kisses him. She puts her hands on his waist and he pulls them off. She leaves. He and his family play cards at the table. His current girlfriend studies his face. He cries as he breaks up with her in his room.

At college, his new girlfriend smiles at him and he watches a couple kiss. He puts his hands on his lap. He drives out the ocean in his van. He takes off his clothes and stands in the ocean.

Now, in his 40s, he sits on the bed and tosses up the baseball. His father hands him a box. He stands at the altar, waiting for his husband-to-be to walk down the aisle. With tears in his eyes, he smiles at the love of his life, a thirtysomething young man. He puts the ring on his husband’s finger and kisses him. He greets his friends inside the house while Lovelytheband plays. He puts his arm around his husband and raises his glass.

Rating: 5/5

No one talked about being gay back then. The fortysomething knew something about him was different about him. He crushed on the teen heartthrobs on the soap operas. However, he talked to his friends about the women in saw in the pornography magazine. He had told his friends he liked one of his girl friends and was inviting her over to his house. She kissed him and he told her he couldn’t. He wanted to tell her it wasn’t anything she did. She never spoke to him again.

In college, though, he learned how to pretend to be in a relationship with a young woman. He wanted to love them. Part of him did feel admiration for them. His first girlfriend, though, had figured out he was gay. He had denied it. While on a group date with one of his girlfriends, he realized he couldn’t lie to himself anymore. There was a young man he loved and he was ready to tell him.

It didn’t work out. The young man had pushed him away and said he wasn’t gay. In between there were some one-night stands and a string of temporary relationships. A thirtysomething man, though, had struck up a romance with him at the coffee shop. He had told he hadn’t come out to his parents yet and wasn’t ready to tell them. The thirtysomething man told him he’d wait.

He had been scared to come out of his parents. His dad assured him that he’ll always be his son. The thirtysomething man and his mom discussed their favorite television shows. He and his father exchanged recipes for the grill. All his life, he believed true love wouldn’t be for him. As he watches his boyfriend help his mother get out of the chair, he knows he found the one.

Director: Andrew Sandler Director: 2019

Pam Avoledo Administrator
Pam Avoledo spends her time binge-watching classic teen dramas and stands firm in her pro-Leyton stance. She also received her journalism degree in 2006 from Oakland University. Her work has been published in the White Wall Review, Sledgehammer Lit ,Greatest City Collective & 45 Magazine . Fevers of the Mind, and forthcoming in Daily Drunk Mag\'s Kirstofia anthology.

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