Video Review: Taylor Swift & Brendon Urie “ME!”

A pink spotted rattlesnake hisses as it slides on the multi-colored pastel cobblestone. It opens its mouth and explodes into a dozen butterflies. A butterfly enters an apartment building. Speaking French, Brendon Urie tells Taylor Swift to “calm down” and that they can’t have a conversation while she’s upset. He calls her “dramatic” She spits back, “how dare you? And in front of our young daughters!” She points to the couch, where the two cats wag their tails and wait for Urie’s response. He tells her to calm down again. She shouts “I am calm!” and walks out of the door.

She walks down the hallway and skips. In the lobby, she walks between clouds floating above the floor and picks up a pink rotary phone. A cloud covers her and dissipates.

Wearing a canary yellow pant suit, she performs a dance routine with several businesswomen. Urie watches her from the window. He jumps up the balcony and catches an umbrella. Swift, in a dripping pink gown, sits on top of a building shaped like a unicorn head. Urie lands on the unicorn head and gives her flowers. She crosses her arms and shakes her head “no.” She also rejects a ring. He holds a cat in her arms. She takes the cat. He opens a wooden heart in his chest.

Inside the multi-patterned heart, Urie and Swift perform on a 1960s variety show.  Two faceless pink people lift Swift, wearing a teal marching band uniform in the air. The word “ME!” spins around in royal purple block letters as they dance. Urie and Swift run toward the castle. They continue to dance on one of the multi-colored steel beams within the castle.

Urie points to the various spots on the street corner. Rainbow paints shoots out of windows and street lamps. Swift stands in a dripping rainbow painted gown. He grabs an umbrella and stands with it as it multi-colored paint splashes down on them. They walk away together.

Rating: 0/5

Taylor Swift deletes her husband’s favorite television show on the iPad. That’ll teach him to minimize her feelings. She cuddles her two cats and comments “Daddy is such unappreciative jerk, isn’t he?” She sighs and stares out the window. She walks to the balcony and watches the young man sitting in a chair, tapping his foot to the music in his headphones. He waves at her and she smiles. He gestures for her to come over. She shakes her head that she can’t and returns back inside.

There was nothing going on between her and the neighbor. She was a happily married woman. However, as she was approaching her 30th birthday, she downloaded Tik Tok on her phone to talk and started creating online videos. She started to buy chips from the vending machine for lunch and making chili fries at home. On the weekend, she came back home drunk with her friends.

Urie kisses her on the cheek once he gets home and freaks out when he turns on the iPad. He shuts it off and says he was looking forward to it. He says he’ll find his backup and mentions he left something in the car. He returns with another cat for her. She kisses him and says she loves him forever. She puts him on the manila folder containing the divorce papers. She can tough it with him a little while longer.

Directors: Dave Meyers & Taylor Swift Year: 2019

Pam Avoledo Administrator
Pam Avoledo spends her time binge-watching classic teen dramas and stands firm in her pro-Leyton stance. She also received her journalism degree in 2006 from Oakland University. Her work has been published in the White Wall Review, Sledgehammer Lit , Greatest City Collective & 45 Magazine and forthcoming in Daily Drunk Mag\'s Kristofia anthology.

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