Video Review: Panic! At the Disco “Dancing’s Not A Crime”

A cell phone rings on a bed. Puppet Brandon Urie wakes up and he reads the message from Human Brendon. Human Brendon tells him that he got VIP tickets for the concert. He brushes his teeth and goes to the bathroom.

He gets off the bus and puts his ticket in his mouth. Security scans him and he his given his pass.

Human Brendon performs on stage.

He rides on the escalator and stands in the studio with Human Brendon. Human Brendon puts the headphones on his ear. He drinks as he walks down the hallway and talks to people at the bar. On the floor level of the venue, he dances to the music.

Backstage, he drinks from two bottles and poses for pictures with fans. In the lobby, he views stuffed plush toys of himself. Human Brendon ruffles his hair backstage and points to him as he performs.  He vomits on the floor.

The video rewinds. Puppet Brendon sits on a couch, drunk. Human Brendon slaps him on the head, calling out “hey! hey!” He slaps his hand as he chews out Puppet Brendon, stating “you ask me over and over again for tickets. I got you backstage. You were hanging backstage. Security told me they just found in the bathroom, sitting on the toilet, puking your brains out. You missed the whole goddamn show. What do you have to say for yourself?” Puppet Brendon opens his mouth to say something and Human Brendon says “get him out of here.” Security pulls him by the mouth.

As the two security guards carry him, they ask “why does Brendon keep giving this guy passes?”

Rating: 2.5/5

Puppet Brendon Urie tears down the Panic! At the Disco poster on the wall of his bedroom. He blocks the band from any of Spotify playlists and sells his collectible items in online Facebook groups. He wants nothing to do with the band anymore. Human Brendon Urie really had some nerve to kick him out. He was there when Human Brendon passed out and said some questionable things on stage. He continued to stand by him and dropped whatever he had to do to help him. Human Brendon owes him backpay for the jobs he lost following the band.

Puppet Brendon posts the story on an online message board, stating he has the tea on the band. He tells each story he overheard backstage. One particular story gets linked to multiple forums. Small celebrity websites begin to pick it up. Human Brendon addresses the rumor on his social media, drawing attention to it.

While brushing his teeth, Puppet Brendon checks his phone. Human Brendon begs him to come to his show. The tickets are being discounted at half off or given away for free. He texts back that he’s heard about the cancellation and says it’s too bad. He asks him about his streaming numbers. Human Brendon responds with a sad face emoji. Puppet Brendon smirks and tucks his phone in his pocket.

Director: Brandon Dermer Year: 2019

Pam Avoledo Administrator
Pam Avoledo spends her time binge-watching classic teen dramas and stands firm in her pro-Leyton stance. She also received her journalism degree in 2006 from Oakland University. Her work has been published in the White Wall Review, Sledgehammer Lit ,Greatest City Collective & 45 Magazine . Fevers of the Mind, and forthcoming in Daily Drunk Mag\'s Kirstofia anthology.

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