Nick sits in the bathtub, wearing a cowboy hat and smokes his cigar. A thought bubble over his head appears. Filmed in sepia, several people dance in a saloon. A masked man kisses a young woman. He rides his horse. Smoking his cigar, he sees a second young woman petting her horse. They stare at one another.
In pink letters, PHEW! shows up on screen. A group of cowboys ride their horses and confront Nick. The second young woman watches him through her binoculars. He thinks “hmmmm.” Nick, Mark, Brian, Nico and Jeff dance in the field. He daydreams within his dream. He and the band walk toward the group of cowboys. The group of cowboys pull the trigger of their guns but rub their hands afterwards.
A third young woman tied to a tree calls for help. He rescues the third young woman. Nick and the band hang out with some Native Americans. A second cowboy shoots at a bowl on the table and blows on the gun, telling him to “eat lead, dogbreath.” Nick responds “oh yeah, cactus head…” and takes off the man’s hat. He puts the gun to the man’s head. PTANG! is written on the screen while the man screams. Nick smirks when the man realizes he’s still alive.
His girlfriend walks into the bathroom and checks her watch. She points for him to get out of the bathtub.
Nick walks around the house, the spurs jingling on his boots. He chugs his bottle of whiskey and tips his hat to his girlfriend. His girlfriend shakes her head and tells him there’s no land to settle on the Oregon Trail. He says they are still alive, though. She responds he’ll suffer from dysentery and points to the pizza. Nick tickles her and says “hey, little missy, that’s no fun.”
His girlfriend says she’s going to the mall and wants to know if he wants to go with her. He says he will. She asks him to “please, please leave the cowboy hat at home.” He says he likes them and it’s part of his image. She side-eyes him and tells him to change.
As they walk past the stores, she notices him pat his pockets and she asks him what’s he doing. He says it’s a habit. She tells him a duel isn’t going to happen. He walks into the store and thinks he sees a young man stealing. He pushes the man on the ground and tells him to give it up. The young man says he doesn’t have anything and that he was working. The store manager puts her hands on her hips and kicks Nick him out. She says that he’s banned from entering any of their stores again. His girlfriend puts her hand over her face and hides in the corner.
Director: N/A Year: 1986