Video Review: Ariana Grande “34+35”

Wearing an Oscar De La Renta neutral bodysuit, Ariana Grande leans against the polka-dotted wall. The polka dots enlarge and contract on the white wall. Inside a lab, Grande writes on a clipboard as she analyzes the graphs on the monitor. She puts her hand over her mouth and points her finger. Walking over to the controls, she views the Grande robot on the metal bed.

Grande presses buttons as she double-checks her notes. The Grande robot smiles as it sleeps. Grande sits with several people on a platform in the polka-dotted room. Electricity powers up the Grande robot. Grande jumps up and down at her success. The Grande robot sparks and falls back onto the metal bed. Grande fixes the robot’s fingers. A second robot aides her. The robot version of herself convulses. Grande smacks the red button as the robot version of herself sits in a chair.

Her colleagues watch as the electricity surges the robot version of herself. The Grande robot points to them and changes them. Wearing pink babydoll dresses, they dance in the lab. The Grande robot tilts its head. Grande pushes up her breasts.

Rating: 2/5

Ariana Grande and her colleagues walk to the elevator. One of her colleagues starts to short circuit. Grande presses  a button and calls for tech support. The Grande robot commands the elevator door to stay open and puts her finger to chin. She gives Grande and her colleagues their human bodies back. Grande exclaims “oh no!” and pushes the robot out of the elevator.

The robot says “pause.” Grande and her colleagues freeze in place. The robot flips through Grande’s mind and zeroes out her anxiety. Touching Grande’s nose, she tells them to continue. Grande suggests they go out shopping or perhaps get a drink. She’ll call in once they get to the store and let her boss she’s going to be late. Grande leaves the message while the robot approves it on the calendar.

The robot hands a bralette and short skirt to Grande. Grande shakes her head and says it’s not her. The robot puts her hands on her hips and says “pause.” Grande, the other customers and employees in the store freeze. She twists Grande’s mind and ups her boldness. The robot touches Grande’s nose again. Grande grabs the bra top and short skirt, saying it’s exactly her style. The robot smirks. Her programming had its glitches. Grande, though, had less errors than she anticipated. There were only a few more tests to run, though. The robot zaps the entrance of the mall.

Director: Director X Year: 2020

Pam Avoledo Administrator
Pam Avoledo spends her time binge-watching classic teen dramas and stands firm in her pro-Leyton stance. She also received her journalism degree in 2006 from Oakland University. Her work has been published in the White Wall Review, Sledgehammer Lit , Greatest City Collective & 45 Magazine and forthcoming in Daily Drunk Mag\'s Kristofia anthology.