Video Review: Bella Poarch “Build A Bitch”

While men stand in line, a voice says “welcome to Match Made where you can find the girl of your dreams.”  Below the store, people, wearing maroon robes, stand by the assembly line. Bella Poarch’s head and three others (Mia Khalifa, Dina and Valkyrae) roll on the assembly line. Arms sit on other side of the assembly.

Poarch’s head attaches to a mechanical body. A twentysomething man (Zhu) walks inside and chooses the woman’s body type. He grins and waits for the woman to pop up into the tube. A defective light flashes as Poarch sits on the assembly while the twentysomething man holds hand with the twentysomething woman. Poarch’s body gets thrown towards the fire pit. She hangs onto the wall.

A second twentysomething man (Larray) sees Poarch in the tube. Poarch breaks a third twentysomething man’s neck. A message reads “Error” on the computer system. She gets an ax and puts it through the computer system. Several mechanical women rise up into the tube at a rapid pace. They stumble out of the tube. Poarch hands out weapons to them. She and the other mechanical women destroy the store. The men standing out of the store run as it burns. Poarch and the mechanical women walk out the building with a smirk.

Rating: 5/5

Bella Poarch puts on a skirt and top at the store. As she walks past security, she tells the twentysomething man they made their goal today. The alarm goes off and she waves. Her head twists, as her system reconfigures itself. It was an unknown response. Part of her arm sparks.

The clerk cries out for help as she sees Poarch lying on the ground. She touches Poarch’s hand and realizes it’s steel. The clerk turns over Poarch and views the model number. A Match Made logo was beside it. She thinks of one of her friends who went to the store for their kids. Whenever she drove the past the store, there was a line.

The clerk grabs some ice cream and says seeing Poarch was the weirdest thing to the second twentysomething woman. Poarch was half-finished but she still had human features. The second twentysomething woman rattles off a boilerplate of information about Match Made, stating their legal policy. The clerk grips her coffee cup and backs away.

Director: Andrew Donoho Year: 2021



Pam Avoledo Administrator
Pam Avoledo spends her time binge-watching classic teen dramas and stands firm in her pro-Leyton stance. She also received her journalism degree in 2006 from Oakland University. Her work has been published in the White Wall Review, Sledgehammer Lit , Greatest City Collective & 45 Magazine and forthcoming in Daily Drunk Mag\'s Kristofia anthology.