Video Review: Pia Zadora “The Clapping Song”

Against a black background, a message reads: “somewhere in a deep dark jungle.” A monkey bangs on a drum while 8 year boys and girls read their books in class. They move their heads back and forth as they sing the song. Pia Zadora, dressed in a white buttoned-up lace dress, nods and claps with them.

A man with Native American paintings on his face and chest stands by the window as she walks by the desks. She sits on a chair by her desk. and claps as her students dance in the aisles. An 8-year-old boy dances on her desk. Within the chalkboard, she makes out with a park ranger in the forest. A fortysomething man catches a thirtysomething woman as she faints. Two men with Native American painting on their bodies climb into the window. An 8-year-old girl screams.

The men with Native American paintings on their bodies grab Zadora. Wearing a white lace minidress, she moves the leaves away from the trees as she walks in the jungle. She dances and claps the other men’s hands. The men grab her as she walks away. At night, she dances with the chief of the tribe. The tribal women worship her. She touches the bare chest of one of the twentysomething men. The monkey does the hand clap with her. She makes out with another twentysomething man. Leaping onto the back of the monkey, she screams and slips off. The 8-year-old joins in the dancing in the rainforest.

The men carry her on a mount. She runs her hand through her hair. A thirtysomething man and woman toast their drinks as they sit at a table.

Rating: 2.5/5

Pia Zadora taps the head of one of the tribal women. She says the flower is lovely. One of the main twentysomething men lingers in the corner. She tells she’d love a day to go to shopping. Her clothes are such rags. The twentysomething man sys her feet won’t touch the dirty ground. He snaps his fingers and says the women will assist her.

She slumps in a chair in her bamboo house. While she didn’t miss work, she liked being able to leave whatever she wanted. Being worshipped wasn’t as fruitful as she thought it was going to be. The clothes they found were discount. Back home, she hoped her closet was intact. She tiptoes out of the house. Perhaps she’ll be able to make it onto the street. The guard rises up and instructs her that he’s at her service. She tells him to go back to sleep.

Zadora demands steak. The chief tells her she’s being unreasonable and has become full of herself since living with them. He reminds her he’ll kick her out. Zadora tells him he’s a controlling jerk. He tells several of the twentysomething men to take her to the nearest road. Some of the men object. He stares them down and tells them orders are orders. Zadora walks on the street in bare feet. It had been so long. She had forgotten her way home.

Director: N/A Year: 1983

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1p-PIYgcPok

Pam Avoledo Administrator
Pam Avoledo spends her time binge-watching classic teen dramas and stands firm in her pro-Leyton stance. She also received her journalism degree in 2006 from Oakland University. Her work has been published in the White Wall Review, Sledgehammer Lit , Greatest City Collective & 45 Magazine and forthcoming in Daily Drunk Mag\'s Kristofia anthology.