Video Review: Katy Perry “Birthday”

A message typed against a black background reads: “In April 2014, Katy Perry attended 5 birthday parties…Only no one knew it was her. Introducing.” The logo for The World’s Worst Party Entertainers pops up. A sixtysomething woman (Katy Perry)  sits in a chair, holding a glass of wine, says, “My name is Goldie because of my golden nuggets.” A message on the screen says she’s Goldie The Dancer. “I live in Las Vegas where I love to dance. I was great friends with all the boys in the Rat Pack. And I heard that song, ‘Lady Is A Tramp’ is about me.”

A logo for Yosef Shulem The MC appears. Yosef (also Perry), sitting in a chair, explains, “I do weddings, bar mitzvahs. I do funerals.” Kriss The Clown (also Perry) says, “I’m on Craigslist for some birthday parties. I make about 40, 50 bucks here and there for weekend. I’m not really a birthday party entertainer. I’m just trying to get some cash on the side.” Kriss burps, drinks from the plastic cup and says, “happy birthday, kids. Don’t start drinking.”

Ace The Animal Trainer (also Perry) says, “unfortunately, I look like Papa Smurf right now. I ran a petting zoo facility but professionally, I lost my license. Out there in the party business, it’s defecation right, defecation left, defecation all over me. I smell like a shit cake. Embarrassing.” Mandy Rogers (still Perry) gives her Twitter handle and says, “I’m a Cancer. I’m a water sign. I dress up as a princess and paint these little girls faces and stuff. I tell them stories.” She taps her phone, saying “unfollow” and adds, “happy birthday, bitches!”

A disco ball turns in a banquet hall at a bar mitzvah. Noah sits in his chair. Bernie, a 90-year-old man, sits in the center of the hall and watches as two nurse aids roll a cake out for him.  A thirtysomething woman talks to her 8-year-old girl as Kriss The Clown walks on the lawn. Ace The Animal Trainer holds a bunny. A 7-year-old boy pets it. Yosef takes the microphone at the bar mitzvah. Princess Mandy draws on a 7-year-old girl’s face. Goldie steps out of the cake and dances by Bernie. Kriss attempts to make a balloon animal. Yosef eats some bread. Ace puts a mouse in his mouth and gags on it. Goldie breathes in oxygen from Bernie’s tank. Yosef breakdances on the floor.

Kriss competes in a potato sack race with the children and knocks over the table with the birthday cake. She drinks from a flask by a tree. Goldie passes out and a nurse shocks her. Kriss takes one of the toys from the table. A fortysomething man grabs it from her. A truck hits a car in the parking lot as Kriss tries to cross. Goldie helps Bernie blow out the candles on his cake and drops it on his lap. Noah holds the microphone as Yosef beatboxes.  Perry (as Mandy) apologizes for her lack of face-painting skills and says she’s Katy. The children hug her and she dances with them. Ace holds out a tray of cupcakes. Mandy and the little girls say “happy birthday!”

Rating: 0/5

It wasn’t a joke anymore. Parents were complaining.  A few children went home in tears. A rattled fortysomething woman gets out of the car. Katy Perry removes her wig and says she’s who she really is. The birthday child’s dad crosses his arms. She says it was just for fun. The birthday child’s dad says the day isn’t about her. His child is really happy now. However, he says it was an inappropriate.

Some members of Noah’s family shake their heads after Perry’s reveal. Perry had reduced them to stereotype. Noah was excited. His favorite pop star was dancing with him. However, they were disappointed in Perry. They had expected better from her.

The nurse exclaims “oh my!” and laughs as Perry reveals herself. Some of the senior citizens ask to hear a song. The nurse finds some music on her phone and plays it for them. A sixtysomething woman dances and says she loves the song. Perry hugs her and gestures for the second cake for everyone. She tells the family it’s on her and she’s sorry about the original cake.

Directors: Marc Klasfeld & Danny Lockwood Year: 2014

Pam Avoledo Administrator
Pam Avoledo spends her time binge-watching classic teen dramas and stands firm in her pro-Leyton stance. She also received her journalism degree in 2006 from Oakland University. Her work has been published in the White Wall Review, Sledgehammer Lit ,Greatest City Collective, 45 Magazine ,Fevers of the Mind, Daily Drunk Mag\'s Kirstofia anthology. and forthcoming in Scrawl Place