Video Review: Lil Nas X “That’s What I Want”

The crowd cheers in the bleachers at Montero University during a football. A seventysomething man points to the night. The people watch a shooting star fall. Lil Nas X lands on the field, wearing a football uniform. Two of his teammates help him up. While on the bench, he stares at a twentysomething man on his team.

He closes his locker and stares at the twentysomething as he walks inside. They make out in the locker room. He tears the package of the condom with his teeth. They sleep together in the shower. He sings to the twentysomething man as he plays the guitar. As the campfire burns, the twentysomething man smiles at him. Nas X licks the twentysomething man’s body in tent.

Carrying a bouquet of flowers behind his back, Nas X walks to the door of the twentysomething man’s home. A twentysomething woman and a 2-year-old boy answer the door. Nas X sees a framed photo of the twentysomething man with the twentysomething woman and 2-year-old boy. Tears in his eyes, Nas X shakes his head. He curses as he drives. Back home, he drinks by his trophy cases and passes out by the couch.

Wearing a wedding gown, Nas X walks down the aisle as people clap. The priest (Billy Porter) hands him a guitar and he plays for his family and friends.

Rating: 5/5

The twentysomething man runs on the field and scores a touchdown. The camera pans to the twentysomething woman and his 2-year-old son, smiling  and dancing as they stand up in the family section. Lil Nas X sits back and guffaws as the commentator says, “he’s a family man. He told us in the locker room it was for her.” It was appearances. The twentysomething man probably had a man on the side in every city.

Lil Nas X turns the game off. The twentysomething man was okay living a lie. Nas X couldn’t do it. He had been dating the second twentysomething on and off for a couple of years. The second twentysomething man had wanted to get married and have kids. Nas X told him he was good with them living together. The only person he could imagine marrying was the twentysomething man.

He hangs back near the bleachers. The twentysomething man stares at him as he walks onto the field. A manager taps him on the shoulder and says he and his friends are invited to the family section. His friends exclaim “wow!” and thank him. Nas X sits and watches the twentysomething man on the field, thinking of returning home with him. The second twentysomething man squeezes his hand and tells him he’s having a good time.

Director: Stillz Year: 2021

Pam Avoledo Administrator
Pam Avoledo spends her time binge-watching classic teen dramas and stands firm in her pro-Leyton stance. She also received her journalism degree in 2006 from Oakland University. Her work has been published in the White Wall Review, Sledgehammer Lit ,Greatest City Collective & 45 Magazine . Fevers of the Mind, and forthcoming in Daily Drunk Mag\'s Kirstofia anthology.